


Recovery (Together We stand)

by The_Meridian_Complex



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Medical, Medical Procedures, Medical Trauma, Mental Health Issues, Post-Star Trek: Into Darkness, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Star Trek: Into Darkness, Vulcan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 01:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11048868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Meridian_Complex/pseuds/The_Meridian_Complex
Summary: Set after Star Trek: Into Darkness, Jim is suffering from the effects of his transfusion with Khan, radiation sickness, PTSD, and guilt. While Leonard knows it's a long road to recovery and that it is bound to get worse before it gets better, he still struggles to maintain hope, care for his friend, and not lose sight of the Jim that used to be.This is the story of Jim's recovery, the ups and downs, the physical and emotional, and the relationships that change and grow because of it.





	1. Jim Awakens

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter of this story is directly based on the end of Star Trek: Into Darkness and tries to maintain the feeling and story line associated with the movie. It does, however, mainly focus on Leonard's point of view throughout the story.
> 
> The choice to call "Bones" Leonard in the beginning of the story is due to the fact that this is from Leonard's point of view and that is what he would refer to himself as.
> 
> For the time being, this story will not involve any Bones/Jim sexual interaction, that may change.
> 
> This is no beta'd but I am alway open to suggestion/comments/improvements.
> 
> Enjoy!

Two weeks.  
Two weeks of sleepless nights and strained days.  
Two weeks without hope.  
Without Jim.

The radiation and the spinal cord injury had taken a mighty price: Jim’s life. Unfortunately, it was the transfusion that, while bringing Jim back from the true beyond, had taken the real toll. Leonard wasn’t sure if Jim would ever come back, and more importantly if Jim would come back the same. It had been two weeks of waiting, two weeks of utter hell.  
Leonard didn’t leave Jim’s side for one moment. While others filed in and out, Spock, Uhura, Chekov and Sulu, crew, families of the dead, families of the living, Leonard stayed by Jim’s side through them all. He was a mess, tired, starved, a wreck with nerves, but he also knew he was Jim’s family, the only one who had been there, and would always be there.  
That always part, Lenard knew, was beginning to look a lot more bleak.

And then, one morning, as the lights were just breaking through Starfleet General’s many windows, even creeping into Jim’s room which, now that the brightest star Starfleet had yet seen, seemed to be slipping away, was never so bright, Jim opened his eye.  
With ragged, frantic breaths, Jim reentered the world of the living.  
Leonard, turning to face his patient, swore he saw the light of God in Jim’s blue, blue eyes, shining ethereal, but so alive.

With trained nonchalance, and a practiced, even quip, Leonard began checking Jim’s vitals. Jim was cold, nearly 90 degrees, and as Leonard explained, briefly, how Khan's “super blood” had saved Jim’s life, he continued to receive worse and worse readings. Jim was awake but he was in no way cured.

Spock, perhaps sensing the doctor’s growing distress, stepped forward, distracting Jim and allowing Leonard to safely look at the computer screen beside the biobed. It was true, Spock had saved Jim’s life, even Leonard could admit that with only a small protest, but it takes a lot more than one person to really give that life back.  
Jim never felt the hypo enter his hand, only the warm touch of his best friend, removed a bit as a doctor should be, but in no way impersonal. One minute he was looking up at Leonard, the next minute he was back into darkness.

The darkness was peaceful, safer than it had been in Jim’s coma, but only for a moment. Soon, the darkness was interrupted with flashes, Pikes face as he died, his mother waving goodbye, the reactor, the pain as radiation coursed through his body. He had to keep going! He had to! The feeling of numbness in his fingers as he tried to climb up to fix the reactor, and then the pain, coming in waves, coming fast, coming for him. The flashes showed him the moment he fixed the reactor, the feeling of his legs breaking. It showed him his fall, breaking his back. It showed him his climb back to the door, the knowing feeling that he would never make it back to humanity and yet still the need to reach the door. It showed him Spock's face, his voice, his hand pressed against the glass. The flashes, sticcado, violent, bright, showed Jim his own death, a thousand times, in the span of a second. The sounds, the lights, the flashes, dying, dying, dead.

This time when Jim woke up, God, whatever that imposter had been, was nowhere to be seen in Jim’s eyes, only fear, only sadness, only panic. His breathing was rapid, ragged, pained, he thrashed about shaking and crying. Had Leonard not been sitting, vigilantly by Jim’s side like he had every night before, Jim would have fallen out of bed.  
The beeping of the monitors, Jim’s breathing and his cries, the thrashing and the shaking, melded together in pain and chaos. The only solid thing in the room seemed to be Leonard. He had quickly grabbed Jim, holding him firmly in his arms, allowing him to shake and cry but to also feel the calm that was Leonard, the safety that was his arms. Leonard held Jim for a long time, murmuring softly, “It’s ok Jim, it’s over, it’s over, you are safe, you are with me” he didn’t force Jim back into reality, but simply guided him there, protected him, delivered him.

Finally, the shaking and thrashing stopped, and Leonard loosened his grip, but Jim, still crying held onto his sleeve, begging Leonard, silently, not to leave him. Leonard held Jim once more, looking over him and then over to the biobed display. Jim’s O2 stats were falling fast as his heart and respiration rates continued to rise, though at a slower rate. Leonard gently detached one of his arms from Jim, grabbing an oxygen mask, and gently putting it over Jim’s face despite his soft protests. Finally, his O2 stats began to rise again, and his heart rate slowed, as did Leonards.  
Jim was left a shaking mess, confused and embarrassed. He let go of Leonard and turned away from him, hiding his tears as he came back to himself.  
Leonard would have none of that, with a gentle hand, he turned Jim’s face back to him, looking him squarely in the eyes.  
“It’s ok, Jim.” He said evenly, his hand resting firmly on Jim’s shaking shoulder.  
“You had a panic attack, it’s to be expected, it’s ok.” Leonard’s brow crinkled in concern as he looked at the man below him.  
Jim looked up at him with humiliation, fear, and panic still in his eye. And pain, so much pain.  
“You need to sleep again, Jim. You know I can’t give you much more pain medicine, we already have concerns about you building a tolerance for the few pain meds you’re not allergic to, and you will need those later, but I can give you more sleep meds so you can get some rest.”  
“No!” Jim’s voice was still shaky but convicted as he refused. He still had the faint tone of authority in his voice, but none of his normally boundless energy.  
“I don’t want to sleep, I don’t want to go back there, I can’t face it alone.”  
Leonard sighed.  
“Okay Jim, I understand.” He sat down heavily in his familiar chair by Jim’s bed.  
“In that case we will just have to wait out the night together.”

Leonard, looking at Jim’s face, pinched with pain, turned away from him as if he was trying to hide it, realized for the first time, just how difficult Jim’s recovery would be. Jim was not the man he had died as, Jim was broken, injured, ill. He was in pain, afraid, he felt alone, but Leonard knew he was not. The road would be long, he had no doubt, but Jim was in no way alone. Jim had a whole crew behind him, and Jim had Leonard, had Bones, beside him, to hold his had, to bring him back to the land of the living.

Jim finally closed his eyes, and Leonard, never really taking his eye off his patient, began to plan Jim’s recovery.


	2. The Plan

A recovery is never really something that can be planned.  
There are certainly steps, protocols, treatments that must be administered according to a schedule and in mind of tolerance and progress. There are medication regimes and therapies that aid in recovery, but they cannot cause it, the cannot force it. Recovery, Leonard knew, was a long road, involving much more than one's body. 

As the early days of Jim’s life began again, Leonard tried to create a plan for Jim’s recovery. It was more difficult than he had expected, for Jim’s condition while at first promising, quickly began to deteriorate. He would not sleep, he could not eat, he was constantly cold, shivering. The moments that Jim could sleep were interrupted by panic attacks and even his waking hours were occasionally punctuated with them. Occasionally, Leonard was forced to fully sedate his pacient in order to put him on a respirator, allowing Jim’s O2 stats to rise and his lungs and heart to take a break from the strain. This sedation would, of course cause Jim a huge amount of distress and discomfort, but remained unavoidable in the early days. Also unavoidable was Jim’s constant need for an oxygen mask and his nasogastric tube. The oxygen was needed to keep Jim’s O2 stats somewhat livable while he was conscious, and whether from radiation poison, the transfusion therapies, or pure panic, Jim had be unable to keep a single bite of food down since he had awoken. He had not even regained his appetite, likely because of the constant nausea, and even with the N-G tube, continued to vomit several times a day. This was becoming a pressing issue as his weight was steadily decreasing, jeopardizing his already fragile immune system and his ability to heal. Jim still hadn’t gotten out of bed once, it was just too much work. Between the fatigue, the sedation, and the multiple tubes running into him, Jim felt pinned down, trapped, hopeless.

Through all of this, Leonard still had to remain hopeful. Shortsightedness, in recovery, means hopelessness, and how Leonard was jim’s only real source of hope. 

Finally, a week after Jim had woken up, Leonard was able to draft a real recovery plan. Before that, he had simply been working hour to hour, keeping Jim alive, buying time.  
Jim still required intubation and heavy sedation at night to give his body a break, but he had managed to go a day without a panic attack during daylight hours, and even a full day without vomiting. He was still refusing to eat, still losing weight, still cold and short of breathe, but Leonard hoped that finally, he could begin to recover. 

Leonard sat next to Jim’s bio bed, listening to the respirator even sounds, keeping a vigilant eye on Jim’s sleeping form.  
Leonard grabbed his PADD from the table beside him and opened Jim’s file.

Recovery Plan for Kirk, James T.  
Overseeing Physician: Leonard H. McCoy MD CMO  
Star Date: 2269.7  
Condition: Kirk, 26 year old male human, suffering from radiation poisoning, fractures in both legs, spinal cord damage, loss of bone density, extreme loss of weight, effects from blood transfusion with an altered human, low O2, and PTSD resulting in panic attacks.  
Issues: Kirk is unable to eat due to intense nausea and loss of appetite. He is unable to sleep without sedation and intubation due to PTSD and irregular respiration. Kirk is experiencing PTSD induced flashbacks and panic attacks that prevent sleep and are causing rapid respiration and heart palpitations that are putting unacceptable strain on his lungs and heart. Kirk is also experiencing radiation poisoning, weightloss, intense pain, and blackouts.  
Course of Action: Recommended course of treatment will come in three stages: Stabilization, treatment, and rehabilitation.  
Stabilization: It is necessary that prior to other treatments, Kirk is stabilized. Kirk must be able to keep down food, though he will likely remain on an N-G tube for most of his treatments to help with weight gain. He will need to gain weight. Kirks broken bones must heal. He must be weaned of most pain medications and mechanical respiration (intubation) at night. And he will have to work towards sleeping unedited.  
At this stage we will be fighting: Weight Loss, nausea, irregular heartbeat and respiration, and panic attacks.  
Treatment: During this stage we will work on treating Kirk’s radiation poisoning with a course of drug therapies. We will also be using drug therapies to counteract the damage done but the blood transfusion. We will also be using transfusions and dialysis to help filter his blood of unnecessary toxins that have been overloading his liver and kidneys. Additionally we will begin regenerative therapies on his spine in order to assist healing. We may also start addressing his PTSD with medication, though sedation may also be used occasionally. Throughout drug therapies nausea will likely still be an issue, so the N-G tube will likely stay in place. Jim may remain in the hospital during this time, though he might also be moved to a more residential setting  
At this stage we will be addressing: Weight Loss, nausea, radiation, transfusion side effects, spinal injury, respiration, and PTSD.  
Rehabilitation: At this stage we will focus on restoring Kirk back to a level of function where he will be able to care for himself. This will include regenerative transfusions to counteract the damage done by the drug therapies, physical therapy to help with his leg and spinal injuries, occupational therapy to help him live on his own again, and psychological therapy to help him deal with the trauma and PTSD. Psychological therapy should be accompanied by anxiety medication. This treatment can be done in a residential setting or at home. It is recommended however, that Kirk not be left alone.  
At this stage we will be addressing: Long term pain management, physical rehabilitation, trauma, sleep issues, PTSD, and anxiety.

 

Leonard finished his plan of action just as the sun was rising over San Francisco. He was utterly exhausted, unprepared for another day of treatment and worry. Unprepared for another day of Jim’s suffering. Leonard had dropped all his other patients, focusing solely on Jim, and he had taken that to the extreme. Over the last three weeks Leonard had been back to his apartment only three or four times, relying primarily on Spock and Uhura to deal with other matters as he focused on Jim. He knew he was fading, but Jim could not survive his burn out so on Leonard went.

Leonard rubbed his eye, stretched, and got up to tend to Jim. He desperately wanted a cup of coffee or better yet a good night’s sleep, but Jim required deintubation, blood tests, bathing, N-G feeding, and his new regiment of medication to prepare him for drug therapies later on. Just as Leonard got up to begin Jim’s morning routine, a cup of coffee was thrust before him. Spock stood silently next to Jim’s bed, startling the doctor who grudgingly took the coffee with a nod to Spock.  
“How is he, doctor?” Spock inquired, looking critically at Jim, still fully intubated.  
“Well he’s sure as hell not better.” Leonard said, lacking some of his usual animosity and instead just looking tired and worried.  
“Perhaps doctor, after you are finished preparing Jim for his day, I might stay with him. In my opinion you look greatly in need of a shower and sleep.”  
“Thanks Spock for telling me I stink.”  
“Doctor, you know that was not the point of my offer.”  
“I suppose a few hours away won't hurt Jim too much…”  
“Then it is settled doctor.”

The look on Jim’s face, still a bit groggy from the sedation, when Leonard left the hospital haunted him all the way home. It was quickly replaced by cool blackness however, the moment Leonard’s body hit his bed.

Leonard knew not what horrors would greet him when he woke up again, in that way he was much like Jim had been. All he did know was that he had concocted a plan for Jim to get better, and that meant a bit of hope, enough hope to sleep on.


	3. The Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard returns to the hospital.
> 
> This is a short, transitional chapter following Leonard through his day, in the calm before the storm.

Leonard woke up in his darkened apartment feeling better, more well rested, than he had in weeks. He stretched, basking in the cool darkness, the peace, the silence. Through the pleasant, sleepy haze, thoughts of Jim and the work he had left behind at the hospital came back to Leonard, slowly at first and then… suddenly Leonard was shapely thrust back into reality.

Programmed from years of ridged training and experience, Leonard began his day quickly and efficiently.  
“Computer. Lights at 75%”  
Leonard moved swiftly, gathering clean clothes, depositing dirty ones, grabbing a small amount of food, and hurriedly showering and dressing. He attempted to leave everything in order and pack what he could as he could not be sure when he would be back to his own apartment again.

By the time Leonard made it to Starfleet Medical he had worked himself into a frenzy. He had left the hospital at 4:15 that morning and it was nearly 19:00 as Leonard rushed into Jim’s room. The light was low and yet Jim was still upright in bed, talking haltingly to Spock and Uhura. They all fell silent as the doctor hurried in, making his way straight to Jim’s side and proceeding to examine him from head to toe as if inspecting him for damage, or rather more damage.   
He then silently pulled Spock out of the room.  
“How did it go Spock? I didn’t mean to sleep that late dammit!”  
“Do not be concerned, doctor, everything here went smoothly. Captain Kirk has been fed and administered his evening medication. He was conscious most of the day and even conversed some. He seems to be in good spirits.”   
“Additionally,” Spock continued, this time with a look of almost concern, “I think it a good thing that you took the time off, you looked exhausted and you know that you cannot burn out now, not when Jim needs you.”  
“As much as I hate to admit it, Spock, I guess you’re right” Leonard replied with a scowl on his face.

Leonard rushed back into Jim’s room without another word and began interrogating Jim.

Despite his worst fears, Jim seemed no worse than when Leonard had left him, he readily answered Leonards questions: have you eaten? Is there any pain? Will you be able to sleep now without medication? Additionally, and somewhat uncharacteristically, Jim submitted silently to a physical. Leonard examined his eyes, mouth, lungs, ran his hands down Jim’s back and abdomen, rearranged the IVs and NG tube, and even took another blood sample. Leonard noticed nothing out of the ordinary except the fatigue and slight bruising around Jim’s abdomen and back, to be expected considering his ordeal. Leonard couldn’t help but think of what faced Jim once he survived the night.   
It was late and Jim looked too tired to still be conscious but the look behind his eyes easily revealed the reason why he couldn’t sleep; pain fades into terror so easily.

Leonard talked to Jim, Jim clenched his fists.  
Leonard examined Jim, Jim gritted his teeth.  
Leonard looked into Jim’s eyes, all he saw was suffering.

It had been a long day for Jim, and now it would be a long night.

“I know this is tough, Jim” Leonard said, soft in the dusk, barely making it into Jim’s pain confused brain.  
“I’m going to give you something to help with the pain and to help you sleep”  
Jim, always the control-freak tried to protest but couldn’t manage to even move his head, as soon as the medication began coursing through his veins, he was gone from this world.

Once Jim was safely asleep Leonard finally let himself relax, still tired from his tense weeks, he too fell into the darkness.

This time, it wasn’t Jim’s screams that awoke Leonard, but the biobed’s sitcatto shreiks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Best Star-Trek 80's band name - Leonard and the Unitard


End file.
